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Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Pill...

 There have been horrific stories of people who in the past “sold their souls to the devil” in exchange for power; fame and fortune; or skill. One such person was the great guitarist, Robert Johnson, early in the 20th Century.

At age 18, he was said to have exchanged his soul with the devil for guitar prowess. Many accounts say that he died from mysterious causes-at age 27!

"...It's a Deal!..."Quite a number of celebrities have been known to have died mysteriously at this exact young age, including Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain. They and several other famous people through the ages have been alleged to have carried out this creepy transaction, and later died tragic, suspicious deaths…

None of these allegations has been proven.

 

But one important “moral” resonates through almost all of these stories: nobody will end well, who trades with the devil; he gives a favour, only to collect some more precious thing in return.

Whether or not we believe these reports is not the issue.

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SEIZURES, CONVULSIONS AND EPILEPSY…

These are accounts of real events, but with reconstructed characters.

Alhaja was the special guest at their company’s Awards Evening event. She was going to receive the Staff of the Year Award, and she did.

“Distinguished Ladies and Gentlemen…” She boomed happily from her place at the high table as she began her Thank You Speech. “It gives me great pleasure to…”

Suddenly, to the horror of the audience, Alhaja dropped 

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Cerebrospinal Meningitis Will Kill More People, Unless...

Years ago, I was running along a bus park in Lagos when suddenly, just inches ahead of me, someone spat out through a bus window!

A huge wad of phlegm and saliva (and only God knows what else!) sped through the air in front of my face, causing me to slip and fall, unsure if my hand hadn’t scooped up some of this evil goo on the ground…

The culprit?...

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Her Most Embarrassing Moment...

Only two hours into the party, and the hall was already crammed full.

Coincidentally, the music playing was Chris Brown’s Wall-to-Wall!

A couple of teenagers who had just met had been dancing passionately together half the time.

“Oh, I wish this charming guy would just quit dancing and kiss me already…!” the lady excitedly thought. “Who could possibly resist a chick like me?”

And just as she thought, he was struck by her beauty- he didn’t even notice anyone or anything in the room but her. To her joy, her partner wrapped an arm round her waist and pulled her close. Her heart began to pound like a drum as he found her lips and moved in for a kiss…

Suddenly, our guy seemed to snap out of his trance, his lips just inches from hers. “Aargh! 

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Kidney Disease Is On The Rise!

My bosses and I had barely reached her bed side during our usual long and exhausting ward round, when she started to complain, facing me:

“Guy! I don’t pee as much as I used to. And when I do, the urine is so frothy, like soapy water. My face too: I find that it’s puffy around my eyes early every morning when I wake up. These days, I get tired too quickly-I have even fainted once. I’m now having hiccups…Guy, are you even listening to me?!…” On and on she droned…

Frothy Urine
Normal Urine
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Help Me! I'm Losing Weight!

Tina (let’s name her like this) is a 29-year-old lady who told me that she’d been losing weight rapidly without knowing why.

She had also been worrying about it, perhaps even further worsening the weight loss!

“My friends have begun to avoid me”, she lamented. “I overheard two of them talking once: they think I have AIDS!

“My fiancé used to hug me…now he just waves ‘Hi’! We had been discussing our wedding, scheduled to take place eight months from today, but now he doesn’t even mention it, and he doesn’t even call me like he used to! Doctor, what is wrong with me?!”

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Petrol And Fire!

Many years ago, I was on a particular short bus trip, and minding my own business.

The passenger seated beside me decided that he was bored, and that I looked like a good listener…

“You know, sometimes I have this stomach pain, just in the upper part of my stomach. Happens every day and it’s worse if I haven’t eaten anything by then. But I have the solution- I use Bubucap, sometimes with small squadron or Chelsea. Sebi you know squadron nau? That small gin in a satchet. Once I use this combo, the pain goes away sharply!...although my relief lasts a few hours and I have to take the combo again…I’ve been using this stuff for a long time now…”

 

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Itchy and Scratchy!

I like cartoons.

There’s especially one series called The Simpsons, in which there is a sub-series called Itchy and Scratchy: a rather gory version of Tom and Jerry.

But when I’m watching them, my mind often wanders to another kind of Itchy and Scratchy, and we need to talk about this today:

Have you ever had the overwhelming urge to just stick your hand into your skirt to scratch that troublesome itch in public? 

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Drugs Can 'ILL You!

Before, I used to think that drugs were just pills, syrups and injections.

Now I know that a drug is any substance which, when taken, can affect our bodily functions-either positively or negatively.

Caplets

Drugs can be in the form of pills; injections; skin creams…even gases as we use them in Anaesthesia during surgery.

Paracetamol is a drug. So are coffee and tea which contain caffeine; and cigarettes which contain nicotine.

So, make u no vex, if someone asks you, “Are you on drugs?”​

 

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So What If I'm Overweight?!...

Imagine for a moment:  you run into a friend one day and she comments, “My my…you’ve gained weight!”

You keep walking down the road and you meet another friend who gasps, “What’s happening to you?! Too much stress? You’ve lost weight!

Many of us have been there before, yes? It can sometimes be saddening, confusing- even frustrating. Just when you think you’re making some progress at weight loss (or weight gain, like some guys I know…), someone has to come burst your bubble!

Whose opinion can you trust? Well, no one's!

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Beware of Good Friends!


A round, happy-looking lady came to our office the other day.

"I feel tired, Doctor!"

"Since when?", I enquired.
"Ah! Since about twelve weeks ago...and I have repeated episodes of skin rashes on my back, Doctor..."

I had already begun to think of eighteen different diagnoses in my head, from emotional stress to pregnancy to less pleasant conditions like cancer...

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The Wonderful Benefits of Smoking!

I am an ardent campaigner against the undue discrimination against folks who smoke . It hurts and I feel your pain ,my peeps out there.

Yes, it is wise not to smoke at a petrol station, but imagine finding a “NO SMOKING” sign at an open central park! And when you take the risk, the eye wey dem go take look you sef, even your cigarette light will quench in fear!

But that is not the issue for discussion today. I really want to reach out to my guys who are actually trying to quit smoking.

From experience, I know it can be so, so hard -but then, why quit? Who’s asking? A friend? A disapproving lover? Your office colleagues?

Just before you give up this wonderful habit you might want to reconsider a few things. Please read the rest of this page carefully.

There really are benefits, or advantages of smoking; and rather than quit for flimsy reasons, you need to weigh the benefits versus the risks first, rather than joining the quitting crowd.

 

 

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